A Mindful and Compassionate Thanksgiving
(Originally written: November 19, 2025)
Written by Nancy Distel, Ph.D.
Thanksgiving can be nourishing, joyful, and full of meaning — and yet it often brings complexity: the rush of preparation, high expectations, and distinct family dynamics. Mindfulness offers a way to be present for what matters most and meet challenges with steadiness.
Jon Kabat-Zinn, Ph.D., renowned researcher and major contributor to the movement of mindfulness into the mainstream, describes mindfulness as
Paying attention in a particular way: on purpose, in the present moment, and non-judgmentally.
Practicing non-judgmental awareness is especially important during the holidays. We often become our own harshest critics, holding expectations about how we “should” feel, behave, host, or respond. We may also find ourselves reacting to familiar family dynamics or situations that bring up old patterns.
Self-compassion invites us to soften this internal pressure. Research from Kristin Neff shows that responding to ourselves with warmth and understanding increases emotional resilience, lowers reactivity, and supports healthier connections with others.
When you notice stress or discomfort, try quietly acknowledging it: “This is a difficult moment. Let me be kind to myself now.” This simple practice, supported by self-compassion research, can calm the nervous system and soften emotional tension. You can also choose a compassionate phrase ahead of time — one that feels natural to you — so that you’re ready when challenging moments arise. Kristin Neff offers guidance for developing these personalized self-kindness statements in her Mindful Self-Compassion Workbook.
Mindfulness also reminds us to return to the present moment:
Savor the food — noticing flavor, texture, and nourishment
Be present in connection — pausing to listen deeply
Practice gratitude — noticing small comforts or joys
Pause before reacting — allowing yourself a breath before responding
Instead of trying to do everything at once, mindfulness encourages us to slow down. Research shows the brain doesn’t multitask; it rapidly switches between tasks, which increases stress and reduces focus. Choosing one thing at a time, even briefly, helps us experience moments more fully rather than moving through the holiday on autopilot.
May your Thanksgiving be grounded in presence, compassion, and gentleness — toward yourself and those around you.
Mindfulness helps us savor what’s nourishing and navigate what’s hard. Self-compassion helps us meet stress with tenderness instead of self-criticism. May your Thanksgiving be filled with warmth, connection, and care — inside and out.